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lyrics

Sanguine giving me advice over drinks over and over again and it just kept going straight right over and over my head, and I would try to lie and hide to get over and over on them “Why would you lie to your friend?” I can’t make everyone and myself happy. I’m so fucking over it.

No mentions of where I am or where I’m going, or who I’m seeing or how I’m feeling.

This isn’t the last part, it’s just the next, and what comes next is the ultimatum: do I choose my love or my friend that hates them? Don’t @ me, and don’t tag me. I don’t wanna listen to your complaining. You run your fingers like you run your mouth. Shut the fuck up.

Who’s right, who's wrong?

And just when I think things can’t get any worse, they always fucking do. I fucking hate you. You ruined my life. I just want my iPod back. I’m calm, it's fine, it's okay.

Here comes my father; hot and bothered and full of lager. I’m not your daughter. Every single piano, every man in my life.

Music to my ears to hear you shake your spear at me about religion, sex and politics you don’t know shit about and how the color of my skin means I can’t be depressed. The black boy better grab on to those boot straps.

The dry, wry encouragement of “roll up your sleeves” and “pick yourself up” gets exaggerated and emphasized when they’re used to fix my mental health. I’m not a leaky faucet or a loose screw. I’m an inch away from you, face to face and we still can’t see eye to eye.

Now I'm on the bathroom floor with a chair to the door, the only thing keeping you from killing me.

Banging. Screaming. Gary Barbera commercials on the TV. “My father did it to me, that's just how I was raised” “My mother did it to me, that's just how I was raised” Abuse is always disguised as “that’s how I was raised”

“Well...what are you, gay?” No, I just don’t like sports. “Well...what are you, stupid?” No, I just don’t understand math. “Well...what are you, weak?” No, I just don’t want to fight. “What is wrong with you?” I don’t know, I need you to help me.

credits

from Dear Lemon House, You Ruined Me: Senior Year, released May 21, 2021

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