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A Recipe for a Meaningful Life

from Dear Lemon House, You Ruined Me: Senior Year by Kaonashi

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lyrics

I often think about what will happen to me. I made up my mind to change my life but everything stays the same. Found comfort in memories, fantasies and dreams. The only things I know that won’t grow old and be different than they were yesterday.

When morning time comes, I’ll bring my heart along.

It’s that moment when the streetlights are still on at 6am. I know the sun is coming but it’s still so dark, and the view of the city sleeping evokes forlorn. Painful, but peaceful. I’m free from judgement. I want to feel this way forever.

I always wanted to be that character in the movie who makes everyone happy and makes her parents proud but that script was ripped to shreds on the day that I was born. Now I’m a crisis actor fighting for the big screen. You only think about yourself. We all have problems, we all need help and I can’t help it if I feel this way. It’s not my decision if everything will be okay. Everything is not okay. Everything is not okay. I want to kill myself. We all have problems, we all need help. So this is where our love will lie: the you and I in suicide. I love you.

Fuck the Fantasy, fuck the Sanguine, fuck the Trigger. I want to lock and load 931 chambers and make the coldest dish of revenge ever served and go one by one by one until they’re all.

Homicide is a favor, thank me in hell.

credits

from Dear Lemon House, You Ruined Me: Senior Year, released May 21, 2021

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