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Market Street (Chardonnay, Diamonds, & Me)

from Dear Lemon House, You Ruined Me: Senior Year by Kaonashi

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lyrics

My decline aged fine like wine fermented incidents cemented in letter grades and missed phone calls. Mom leaving voicemails while dad kept his fists balled. Look at everything that tough love solved.

Sorry I missed your call. Please just let me talk. Screaming never helps communication but sometimes being mean lets them know you were nice the whole fucking time. I want to find middle ground and you just wanna break it down.

My decline aged like fine wine, fermented incidents.

Every time I walk in this house I can feel it, the 20 questions I answer like a silent dancer. Scared of what my voice tone might show, my Expression Express. You used to hit the table so hard it would hit my chest. You used to scream at me for things that I can never forget. And then would tell me to try my best. Try my best? My best what? Impression of progression? Development or recovery? Parenting isn’t intimidation. Now that’s a part of me.

Sorry I missed your call, please just let me talk.

Taylor told me she gets out at 9, she works at Amore. Nah, her parents said that I could stay over, it's all good. We got in her car and then she took a right, and then a left, and then a right at the light then we stopped and we got Checkers and we listened to Coheed and it helped. I need someone I need help. I’ve got my girl, I’ve got my friend, I’ve got so many problems and this large cherry Fanta and I can’t stop crying and now everyone’s getting worried and it’s so damn hard to be weak in front of people and it’s so damn hard for me to actually say what’s wrong.

Sorry I missed your call, please just let me talk.

I feel so much better on floors and couches than I do in my own bed. Don’t talk to me about blood, or about thickness, or about water or what’s for the best cause that shit just don’t apply. That’s me dying in the living room.

credits

from Dear Lemon House, You Ruined Me: Senior Year, released May 21, 2021

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